Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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