one might say we're banned from that church
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize