butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize