I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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