dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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