Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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