the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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