only if we run a train.
done.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize