i just had sex bonerless
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
