you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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