he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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