Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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