Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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