Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
