I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
