Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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