My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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