Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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