...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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