You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
