I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
