Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
