mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
