You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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