Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
