You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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