I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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