discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
