I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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