she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize