Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
