i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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