I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
