I think i peed on brittanys purse
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he puts the penis in happiness.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
