so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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