He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
