I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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