Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
