Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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