Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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