So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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