you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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