what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
