hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize