i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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