go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize