I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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