you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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