She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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