He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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