I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
