i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
