my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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