so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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