dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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