yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
