Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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