Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
