We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
