He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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