What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
