Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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