I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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