he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
