OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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