I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
