i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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