Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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