That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
