and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
