The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
