I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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