I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
