His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
